"I like football. I find it's an exciting game. It's a great way to avoid conversation with your family at thanksgiving." - Craige Ferguson

"You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone." - John Madden

"Pressure is something you feel when you don't know what the hell your're doing." - Peyton Manning

"If there were no bad players there would be no good agents" - adaptation from Dickens

"When you win nothing hurts" - Joe Namath